


Votive

by flowersheep



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-17 09:39:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2305115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowersheep/pseuds/flowersheep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All those who live by the sword must be prepared to die by the sword. Gwen is no exception.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Votive

**Author's Note:**

> For Merlin Femslash Week - Day 2: unrequited

_Votive: adjective. offered, given, dedicated, etc., in accordance with a vow; performed, undertaken, etc., in consequence of a vow._

  
~  


She’s going to die here. The fact of it doesn’t upset Gwen as much as it once would have. With shaking hands she pulls her helmet off and takes a deep breath of cool evening air, ignoring the shooting pain it sends though her chest. Broken ribs, almost certainly. That’s the least of her worries though. Broken ribs won’t kill her. No, that honor belongs to the sword wound in her stomach. She’s too far from their camp. Magic might still be able to pull her back from the brink, but they won’t find her in time to get her to a sorcerer. She’s going to die here. And that’s okay. Because they won. Her queen is safe now.

Her fingers reach up, weak and trembling, to trace over the length of cloth wound around her bicep. She can still remember the sad, tender smile on her queen’s lips as she tied it, hand lingering on the newly polished armor before bestowing a kiss on her favored knight, a light press of lips along Gwen’s cheek. Gwen wore the smudge of color left there into battle like war paint. For a moment she regrets. Her mind flies forward, into a future where her days are spent leading knights and her nights are spent between silk sheets, acquainting herself with her queen in ways a young girl told to keep out of the way in her father’s smithy could never dream of. A single tear escapes and trails through the remnants of the lip paint. That future will never come. Her queen will sit upon her throne, awaiting her return, until someone presents the sword lying across the clearing, the favor draped over it like a broken promise. Maybe someone will even carry her body back, though it’s far more likely she’ll be buried with the rest of the knights and soldiers who gave everything for their queen. 

She doesn’t regret this though. Gwen may weep for the future that will never be, but never will she regret giving her life in service to her queen. She will never regret the first time she picked up a sword in her father’s smithy while he had his back turned. Nor will she regret convincing her brother to spar, first with sticks, then with wooden swords, then with dulled blades. She will never regret suffering through the training, ridiculed by her male peers who had no confidence in a female warrior until they were lying in the dust, staring up with wide eyed disbelief as Gwen raised her sword in triumph. The day she was knighted will forever remain the greatest day of her life. Nothing will compare to kneeling before her queen, feeling the sword brush her shoulders in acceptance of her oath to protect and serve. Gwen regrets nothing that has led her to this point. She will die beside her enemies with pride in her heart and the knowledge that they will do no harm to her queen, her-

She coughs, weak. The pain is dull and distant now. Through the trees she can see the sky set aflame by the setting sun. She used to stand on the ramparts of the castle and watch darkness fall over the land, the sun sinking below the horizon, the twinkling lights of candles appearing in windows throughout the city. In the summer the air becomes pleasantly cool. Her eyes slip closed, but she forces them open. If the last thing she sees in this world can’t be her queen then it will at least be something almost as beautiful. She stares as the world dims around her.


End file.
